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(125) Why is
long-continued prayer necessary? In order that by
prolonged, fervent prayer we may warm our cold
hearts, hardened in prolonged vanity. For it is
strange to think, and still more so to require, that
the heart, hardened with worldly vanity, could be
speedily penetrated during prayer by the warmth of
faith and love of God. No; labor and labor and time
and time are needed to attain this. "The Kingdom of
Heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it
by force" (St. Matthew XI. 12). The Kingdom of
Heaven does not soon come into the heart when men
themselves so assiduously flee from it. The Lord
Himself expresses His will that our prayers should
not be short, by giving us for an example the
importunate widow who often came to the judge and
troubled him with her requests (St. Luke XVIII. 12).
Our Lord, our Heavenly Father knows, even before we
ask Him, what things we are in need of (St. Matthew
VI. 87), what we want; but we do not know Him as we
ought, for we give ourselves up to worldly vanity,
instead of committing ourselves into the hands of
our Heavenly Father. Therefore in His wisdom and
mercy He turns our needs into a pretext for our
turning to Him. "Turn ye, My wandering children,
even now unto Me, to your Father, with your whole
hearts. If before you were far from Me, even now, at
least, warm by faith and love to Me your hearts
which were formerly cold."
(126) Do not
indulge your slothful flesh during prayer; do not
hurry. The flesh, growing weary and oppressed by the
holy work, hastens to finish praying in order to
rest or to occupy itself with world or carnal
matters.
(127) When you are
saying your prayers - especially if you have a rule
of prayer according to a book - do not hurry from
one word to another without feeling the truth,
without laying it to your heart, but always strive
to feel with your heart the truth of that which you
say. Your heart will oppose this - sometimes by
slothfulness and stony insensibility to that which
you are saying, sometimes by doubt and disbelief, by
a kind of inward fire and oppression, sometimes by
distraction and deviation of the mind to earthly
objects and cares sometimes by the remembrance of
the offences of your neighbor, and by a feeling of
revenge and hatred towards him, sometimes by the
representation of worldly pleasures, or the
representation of pleasure derived from reading
novels, and, in general, worldly books. Do not be
self-loving; conquer your heart, and offer it to God
as an acceptable sacrifice: "My son, give Me thine
heart" (Psalm 103, 8-10), and your prayer will unite
you to God and all heaven, and you will be filled
with the Spirit, and the fruits of the Spirit:
righteousness, peace, joy, love, meekness,
long-suffering, and hearty compunction. You want to
finish your rule of prayer quickly, in order to give
rest to your weary body? Pray fervently, and you
will sleep the most peaceful, quiet, and healthy
sleep. Do not hurry, then, nor say your prayers
anyhow; by half-an-hour's prayer you will gain three
whole hours of the soundest sleep. Are you hurrying
to get to the place of your service or your work?
Get up earlier; do not sleep so long; and pray
fervently - you will thus obtain tranquility,
energy, and success in your work for the whole day.
Is your heart impatient to go to vain, worldly
matters? Master it; let its treasure be not earthly
vanity, but God; teach your ears to attach itself
through prayer to God, and not to worldly vanity, so
that you may not be covered with shame in the day of
sickness, and in the hour of death, like him who was
rich in worldly vanity and poor in faith, hope, and
love. If you do not pray as I have said, then you
will neither prosper in life, nor in faith, nor in
spiritual understanding.
(128) Do not
believe your flesh when it threatens to you with
weakness during prayer; it lies. As soon as you
begin to pray you will find that the flesh will
become your obedient slave. Your prayer will vivify
it also. Always remember that the flesh is lying.
(129) Those who
pray little are weak in heart, and thus, when they
wish to pray, their hearts become enfeebled, also
their hands, body, and thoughts, and it is difficult
for them to pray. It is necessary to overcome
oneself, to strive to pray with the whole heart, for
it is a good and happy thing to pray with the whole
heart.
(130) During
prayer, do not allow the flesh and the enemy,
acting through it, to conquer you; speak the truth
from your heart, and use no deceit in your tongue
(Psalm XV. 2,3). Think and feel what you say in
prayer, and do not let there be honey on your tongue
and ice in your heart. Once you are conquered by the
enemy, you will have to defend yourself and your
freedom against him, as a piece of ground already
conquered by the enemy, and your heart will withdraw
itself from the Lord. Do not neglect anything in the
spiritual life; do not consider anything
unimportant, unworthy of great attention: it is
through little sins that the Devil leads us to great
ones. Above all, endeavor to be always truthful in
your heart. When it is most difficult to fight
against the flesh, then is the time to show your
firmness, then is the time not to grow weak in
conflict, but to fight like a good soldier of
Christ.
(131) Indulgence
of the flesh, hardened unfeeling ness to everything
spiritual, sacred, is the oppression of the enemy,
although the carnal man does not consider it to be
oppression, because he favors it; but those who
desire to live a spiritual life look upon it as
oppression, because it does not admit God into their
hearts, does not allow the grace of God to be poured
into the heart, quickening and enlightening it,
because such oppression makes the soul unfruitful
for deeds of faith, hope, and love. At such times we
become somehow carnal, as though having no spirit.
O, how manifold are the various persecutions of the
enemy! How truly we should grieve from the depths of
our hearts at this hardened unfeeling ness; how we
should lament before the Lord: it will thus pass
away, and the heart will be warmed and softened, and
become capable of spiritual contemplation and holy
feelings.
(132) Do not spare
yourself, but pray earnestly, even if you have been
toiling all day. Do not be negligent in holy prayer;
say it to God unto the end from your whole heart,
for it is a duty you owe to God. Having put your
hand to the plough, do not look back (St. Luke IX.
62). If you allow yourself to pray carelessly, ,and
not from your heart, you will not fall asleep (if
you pray at night) until you have wiped out by tears
your sin before God. This is not so with everybody,
however, but only with the more perfect. Take care,
then, not to put your flesh before God, and disdain,
for His sake, bodily repose. If you have made a rule
to read so many prayers (whether they be long or
short, fulfil the reading of all of them well), read
the prayers with all conscientiousness, and do not
God's work with your heart divided in two, so that
only one half belongs to Him and the remaining half
to your own flesh. God is a jealous God, and will
not suffer your duplicity, your self-pity. He will
deliver you up to the Devil, and the Devil will not
let your heart rest for your neglect of God, Who is
the true peace of your heart, and Who will always do
that which is for your own good, so as to keep your
heart near Him; for every insincere prayer removes
your heart from God and sets it in opposition to you
yourself, whilst every earnest prayer draws your
heart nearer to God and makes it perpetually godly.
Thus, be assured, if you hurry over your prayers, to
give rest to your body, you will lose both spiritual
and bodily rest. Oh! by what labor, sweat, and tears
is the approach of our heart to God gained! Is it
possible that we should again make our very prayers
(when careless) the means of our estrangement from
God, and that God should not be jealous of this? For
he pities us and our former labors, and He desires
that we should again unfailingly turn to Him with
our whole hearts. He wishes that we should always
belong to Him.
(133) As after
having unworthily communicated, so also after having
prayed unworthily and coldly, our soul feels equally
ill at ease. This means that God does not enter in
our heart, being offended at its unbelief and
coldness, and allows the evil spirit to nestle in
our hearts, in order to make us feel the difference
between His own presence and its yoke.
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